I’m fascinated by the concept of “goodness” and what it means in different contexts, societies, and situations. Growing up, I was the “keener” kid always so hopeful that people would see me as “good.” Over the years I’ve struggled with this concept and how it is defined. I’ve observed in myself inner dialogue and struggle over this concept. I stop myself from doing things I want to do if they don’t fit into the “good” category. I’ve done “bad” things and felt very “bad” as well as very satisfied and triumphant. I’ve wondered how I know the difference, or if there really is a difference, between “bad” and “good.”
So, I’ve seen myself as sort of dancing along this line of prudence. Even being here, writing this in this moment, instead of attending to the multitudes of work I should be dealing with feels a little bad, but I’m justifying it in the language of goodness since it’s good for my soul to be here. I’m being imprudent, but also good. Does this make me a prude or a badass…? Does it matter? In my quest for balance and simplicity in my life, I’m working hard on exploring and dispelling misrepresentations in my mind, heart, and life of what defines good and bad and why. The line at the edge of prudence is a moving target…and I’m not even sure it’s what we should be aiming for.